Sunday night, instead of meeting at our normal time in The Pipe, we will go upstairs to The Grove for our Super Bowl Party starting at 6:30 p.m. Since we will not have our regular message, I thought it would be appropriate to continue our series on answering difficult questions in this space.
So, let’s find out what Luke has to tell us about Matthew.
Super Bowl LVI feels like a kick in the groin for many folks in our corner of the globe. Fans of the Detroit Lions, like yours truly, have had to watch our quarterback, the signal caller we basically raised from a boy, lead the Los Angeles Rams to the Super Bowl — only one year removed from his time in Detroit. Meanwhile, our team hasn’t won a single playoff game since well before any of you were born.
This circumstance presents us with numerous difficult ethical questions, but one rises above the others: What happens when the Rams lose and Matthew Stafford comes crawling back?
We know from the scriptures (Luke Chapter 15) that Stafford, having gotten too big for his britches and leaving his adopted hometown in the dust, has likely squandered all his wealth in wild living on the west coast.
After the Rams go down against the Bengals Sunday Night, they will likely lose the bulk of their key players to free agency and, potentially, famine. One shot at glory gone in an instant.
His Kupp runneth out; his Akers left fallow.
Stafford, left with the scraps, will resort to eating pig slop on a .500 football team before finally coming to his senses, returning to Detroit and living in a Van down on Jefferson.
“Lions fans,” he will say, “‘I have sinned against Detroit and against you. I’m no longer worthy to be called a Lion.”
By this time (let’s just say 2024), the Lions will be loaded in every position group save for one: Quarterback. The return of our Prodigal Son will put on full display the true character of Lions fans who are rich in mercy and compassion.
We will strap a Shinola on his wrist, DoorDash some Lafayette coney dogs and welcome him back into the fold as if he had never left. Unlike in Luke’s version of the story, we will NOT put a ring on his finger.
That is, until Super Bowl LVIII.
See you Sunday night!
The Pipe 