One of the most important aspects of living a life that matters is how we handle ourselves in the midst of adversity. All of us find ourselves in situations in which we are unjustifiably targeted with another’s wrath. We’ve all had this experience in school, at work or even at home with a member of our family.
Frankly, we’ve all (once or twice) been the person targeting another with unjustifiable anger, bitterness or blame. And we should all remember how we felt when our words or deeds hurt someone.
As we have discussed (over and over, and over) over the last several months, choosing to follow Christ changes us from the inside out. It doesn’t make us immune from making bad choices, or suffering negative consequences as a result. Further, it doesn’t give us the ability to skate through life without encountering trials of all different sorts.
That said, how we handle adversity should be a reflection of the character of Christ and who we are as Christians — sinners saved by grace.
One of the dilemmas we face as Christians confronts us in the midst of adversity and, strictly speaking, when people do wrong to us. How do we balance our innate human desire to get even, to take revenge, with our calling as Christians to “seek justice and love mercy?”
As Christians we are commanded to not hold grudges; we are commanded to offer grace as freely as we have received it; in the Lord’s Prayer, we ask for forgiveness for our trespasses, “as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
One of the greatest lessons I ever learned was that forgiveness is as much about the one offering as the one receiving. Even those of us who choose not to lash out, or to attempt to get even when we are wronged, will often carry around a grudge for years — sometimes for a lifetime. This is a heavy burden, but one that is made lighter by the simple act of giving it to God — the act of offering grace and mercy to those who have wronged you.
I’ll never forget the first time I heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people.” There is so much truth about humanity packed into those four words. As Christians, we are called to break that cycle — to offer love and forgiveness, even when we are the aggrieved.
To do this requires us to seek justice, but never revenge. We have to, as we discussed last week, defeat the desire to get even and replace it with the spirit of mercy. As it says in the Gospel of Luke, we are to be merciful as our God is merciful — our God who is “kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”
Revenge may, on the surface, look and feel like justice but it is different in some very significant ways. First and foremost, revenge is, at its core, about making someone else feel the hurt that we have felt — and, as such, we can take pleasure in it. This is a natural human response but it is not reflective of the character of Christ.
All of us will be victims of cruelty, thoughtless behavior and petty annoyances. At times like that, we will have to choose between the seductive appeal of getting even, attractive but harmful to our souls, and the cleansing force of integrity, reclaiming power over our lives precisely by not giving in to the temptation to get even.
Harold Kushner
We will talk more about this on Sunday night. I hope to see you there!
The Pipe 